Distress
God, when
it hits the whole world aches!
My fingernails
feel like blood is pushing through them.
The hair on my body feels like it wants to push out of the skin.
My eyes
feel like wire are being tightly wound around them.
My eardrums
are going to spit out.
An angry
bee hive swarms on each tighten shoulder.
God!
The back
of my shoulders feels like Atlas has had me relieve him.
My toes
tingle and pain runs through them like snakes bites.
Pain comes
where there is never pain.
I notice
one pain then the next, then the next, then next,
Then the
next, then the next, then the next…..
When It
Hits!
You know
it is all bullshit and you can’t stop or even slow it down.
You want
to end it, terminate it, kill it, this immense feeling of slow pain.
All my
life is pushed through the little hole of pissed off pain.
My chest
feels like a balloon is being inflated in it .
I feel
like striking out, screaming at the world, Screaming, Screaming….
The Whole
World Aches!
A tingling
of null ness is in every part of my body.
My bones
are as warped steel, torque and twisted in a vice.
Exhaustion,
swimming underwater in a very used sewer main.
A dulled
stick pushing through my forehead from the inside.
The continued
wailing and thrashing of the baby elephant inside.
When It
Hits, The Whole World Aches!
I’m in
it, there is no escape, no way out, no ending will every come.
This is
my never ending sucky, slimy, pissed on, pissed off life.
My life
is the end of a roto rooter wire after being pulled through a toilet.
Everything
is colored pollution gray with dirty green fungus.
I hear sound without substance, absent, missing, nothing, gone, silent.
God!
I want
to horror scream, and I can’t release enough to even do that.
Where
have all the good times gone, where have all the happiness gone.
I will
never see it again, never, never, never, never, never, never.
God, God,
remember the other side, remember the other side,
Remember the other side, remember the other
side, remem…...
Roland James February 2001
Teri,
my great equalizer says
Sounds
like a huge dumb, a poem has cadence.
Roland,
the great justifier says
But sweetie, I’m just trying to tell how it feels.
Roland James February 2001